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That Far Away Thing by ~CentariFighter:iconCentariFighter:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


  she used to sit in the rain and sing
  songs she never learned the words to
  so that she wouldn’t have to hear herself think.

  she pinched cigarettes until they tumbled apart in her fingers,
  glowing ashes drifting down from her lips onto the sidewalk
  like snow.

  she hadn’t grown taller,
  or fatter or thinner,
  but when there was a breeze
  she couldn’t help but sway.  

  she was afraid of looking in the mirror
  and finding him there, smiling holily
  for her.

sometimes she could bring herself to sit at the vanity
and face the glass with eyes half closed.

sometimes there was too much light to risk it.
©2007-2009 ~CentariFighter
:iconcentarifighter:

Author's Comments

it's been a while guys. here's something. more to come. I think I should have named it Aftermath or After Shock or After...uh. yeah.

Comments


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:icongee-man:
~Gee-Man Nov 25, 2007, 9:10:22 PM
Heh, I was wondering when you would start writing again. It's been a while hasn't it? Beautifully written as usual, I have a few interpretations, but I'm currently in the kind of mood that draws giant robots with passionate youths who are determined to save the world, so I don't think I'm in the right state of mind to comment. =P

--
Ninjas never go down easy. Especially the l33t ones.
:iconxpresnme:
~Xpresnme Nov 25, 2007, 10:00:07 PM
I like the title you chose. I also love this poem.
:iconcentarifighter:
~CentariFighter Nov 26, 2007, 7:33:39 PM
Thanks so much! If you wouldn't mind, could you tell me your interpretation of it? I want to see how people see it. Thanks again for commenting.

--
~Create the settting, create the characters, then let them do the work~
:iconpen-scribe:
~pen-scribe Nov 27, 2007, 4:40:30 AM
Lovely job. I really like the flow of it. Very few people can write a good poem without rhyming, but you have done so here. I especially like your description of the cigarette. I might suggest using the word 'crumble' instead of 'tumble', though, since it fits a bit better. :]
:iconcentarifighter:
~CentariFighter Nov 27, 2007, 9:28:07 PM
I couldn't ask for anything more of you Peyton. Thanks so much and yes, I'M BACK!

--
~Create the settting, create the characters, then let them do the work~
:iconxpresnme:
~Xpresnme Nov 28, 2007, 8:03:35 PM
To me, it was about someone who has been hurt and trying anything to occupy her mind from "him". I would really change "holily" though. Perhaps use the word sacred instead.
:iconcentarifighter:
~CentariFighter Nov 30, 2007, 5:06:57 PM
thanks! and sacred could work if only there was an adverb form of it...Plus I liked the soft sounds it made accompanied with softly...a nice susurrus.

--
~Create the settting, create the characters, then let them do the work~
:iconcentarifighter:
~CentariFighter Nov 30, 2007, 5:09:39 PM
thanks! I love your input! keep reading!

--
~Create the settting, create the characters, then let them do the work~
:iconhead-launch:
~head-launch Dec 6, 2007, 5:30:47 PM
the tile that you used is a lot better than anything with after in it

--
Life is funny. Especially if you're as creepy and perverted as I am
:D
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